That’s what they say…

Lies, lies, damnable lies!

For years I’ve believed what everyone told me, because everybody told me so, and it didn’t seem all that illogical, not that I thought about it much. But then, a random happenstance tore the veil of ignorance from my eyes as I witnessed the literal negation of what I’ve come to believe is true.

It happened in the kitchen, just a couple nights ago. I was heating a pot of water for some noodles and happened to be looking in the direction of the stovetop when the water reached one hundred degrees celsius.

I stared, in amazement. It was actually happening – the pot of water was boiling – indeed, had come to a boil, right there, WHILE I WAS WATCHING IT!!!

Well, I was shocked. What else had ‘they’ lied about? How many other things that everyone says is true just ain’t so? Well, I’m still working on a way to have a timed light meter to measure whether or not it’s darkest before the dawn (get up early? heaven forfend!), and later on this summer I plan to roll some stones around to research their mobile moss-growing capabilities. But in the meantime, I was able to contact several major airlines, but, sadly, none of their representatives would comment on whether Time ever avails itself of their services.

They were very solicitous otherwise; some even inquired after my mental health. How sweet.

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