What Every Ex-(and Current-)$cientologist Should Know

Most people who read this blog know how I feel about Scientology, but why I feel I do perhaps bears a bit of repeating here. Ages ago, back in nineteen-ninety neveryoumind, I was in what could only be termed a “microcult:” a small, intense, emotionally abusive spiritual group. (You can read a description of an all-too average day here.) We were really just a mixed up group of kids, but our leader (a theater major in his last year of a less-than-stellar career at the school where I had earned my masters’ degree) maintained that we were the *only* correct branch of the O.T.O.

For those of you who don’t know what the O.T.O. is, that is the magical order Aleister Crowley created when the Golden Dawn asked him to leave for being a bit, well, too dark for them. Now, speaking as a practitioner with more than a decades’ work post-cult in the tradition, there’s nothing wrong in itself with ritual magic, except for their insistence on spelling it with the letter k. However, the craft does tend to unnerve some folks because when you start fucking around with your spirituality on the level of intensity followed by those who call themselves ‘adepts,’ things can either be very quietly good, or extremely messily and loudly bad. In this tradition, evil is a choice. It’s a bad choice, it’s not a desirable choice, and it’s a choice that very few of us make. And yet…

Let me just say that there are some freakin’ frightening things that I’ve studied. And I’m not even talking anything supernatural here. I don’t even believe in the supernatural, not the way most people think of it anyway. But I will concede that a)nature is bigger – and weirder – than we know, and b) the real power of any “magic” is in the belief, and if you’ve got folks believing in a Devil, then it really doesn’t matter whether or not the Devil actually exists; you’re probably devil enough for the poor sots under your control. And once you’re in someone’s mind, there’s no limit to the mayhem you can create.

Which brings us to our friend L. Ron Hubbard.

I am an avid Scientology watcher and do what I can here on this blog and in my own life to educate others about the evils of all destructive religious groups, but especially the CO$. While working on an art project, I was catching up on some of my Ex-Scio listening, and stumbled upon the speeches from Flag Down 2014, in particular, the mind-blowing and dramatic presentation of Jamie DeWolf, free-speech activist, poet, performer, lecturer, musician, dramatist – and great-grandson of L. Ron Hubbard. In a memorable speech, Mr. DeWolf read from the lost memoirs of L. Ron’s son, “Nibs” Hubbard, who had become disaffected with his infamous father.

I have been out of my cult since 1996, and still Nibs’ words chilled me to the bone. It might have been written by Old Man Crowley himself, for the rhythms and terms – the first few paragraphs especially. I had Crowley’s works well-hammered into my head, and so I could easily recognize the influence which those words had had on the man. At this point, I’m going to link to Tony Ortega’s blog, here. Please at least skim Tony’s excellent account, as he’s a much better reporter than I am, obviously. Scroll down to read excerpts from the manuscript. [EDIT: After some wise words from Mr. Ortega, I am reassured that “Nibs” was as much of a yarnspinner as his father, and so we’re going to have to take some (if not most) of his claims with the proverbial grain of salt. And yet, if Nibs was making it up, he must have really researched his Crowley to do so, and I can’t think that wouldn’t mean that his old man might have had an influence there. Sooooo…. ]

I could see in the video that the audience were shocked by the whole thing, but I don’t think it’s really been fully brought to everyone’s attention what the true implications of that manuscript are, mainly because you’d have to have a background in Crowley’s bullshit in order to understand it all.

Nibs’ manuscript is nothing less than the ultimate “smoking gun” against Scientology. In the manuscript, LRon was talking of using – and communing with – his “Beast,” at a date well after the founding of Scientology. This has serious significance – if you know your ritual magic. As a former practitioner of those arts, I can fill in a few pieces of the puzzle to make the picture clearer for you: the “Beast” Hubbard mentions is a construct of ritual magic; a sort of reverse Holy Guardian Angel. If your Holy Guardian Angel is everything that is divine within you, and a reflection of everything good, holy, right, just, etc, then you can imagine the function of one’s “Beast.”

Now, I am currently an atheistic/agnostic UU now, but even though I don’t believe in an external idea of an Evil One, the very idea of creating anything using one’s “Beast” for help is still, in my mind, tantamount to selling one’s soul to the Devil. Even without a real devil, it’s still not a nice idea.

The upshot of all of this is that Nibs’ lost memoir proves positively that L. Ron Hubbard created Dianetics and Scientology not to help humanity, not out of a misguided effort to make the world better, not to offer any kind of positive thing to humanity. Rather, he created these systems to offer deliberate harm.

Let me back up a bit. The ceremonies Nibs mentioned in his manuscript are intended to bring forth whatever the practitioner wishes – his deepest desires, his basest, most lustful dreams. He uses the “Scarlet Woman” as a sacrifice to his Beast, and with her blood, he creates the thing he desires. In L. Ron Hubbard’s case, this was unlimited money and an unlimited (literally captive) audience for his writing. The key phrase in Nib’s manuscript is “access without liability.” Someone without a background in ritual magic would hear that phrase and think it sounded boring, even legal. But in fact, the whole concept of “access without liability” is one of the most frightening – and repulsive – concepts ever devised by a man who once termed himself “the most evil man in the world.”


As anyone knows, with any deal with the Devil, there’s a price. But the man in full possession of his Beast, who has done certain rituals within the tradition, can make others pay that price: he thus gains access to his deepest desire without any of the liability, having put all that upon his “Scarlet Woman.” Usually this is an actual woman, usually sexually used, if not violated and drained of energy (and then discarded “once she has lost her voluptuousness”) , but with enough determination, the mage can make anyone pay, and I think we can all locate Hubbard’s victims – the “spell,” such as it is, has been working for over a half-century now, and the sacrificial victims paying the price number in the thousands, if not tens of thousands now.

Once again, I am not resorting to any belief in any external evil anti-divinity, or any form of demonic intervention. However, the intent for evil was there, as well as the ability and drive to gain access to funds, and the ultimate ego that ritual magic can foster, if not tempered by empathy. The long and short of it all is that L. Ron intended Scientology to be an instrument of spiritual destruction and degradation. There were no good intentions behind anything written into the organization.


As a practical proof: how many times have you heard ex-Scios say “it’s almost as if the Training Routines were designed to drive you crazy.” If you’re an ex-Scio, you’ve probably said it yourself.


Well, apparently they were designed to do just that. Every Training Routine, every step along the bridge, every Sec Check, every hour of auditing… all deliberately designed to cause harm, to degrade, to kill, to destroy.


For all the people who ask: “how can a religion cause so much harm?”


Because it’s an anti-religion, and it’s been designed to do harm.


All to glorify one man and his Beast.


Yikes, just yikes.

Jamie DeWolf, if you see this, I send you the best and hope you and yours are well and safe and warm this winter. You just keep speaking the truth; we’re all behind you, and we’re gonna win this fight. And in the meantime, if you need a backup bassist, I work cheap… 🙂

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5 Responses to What Every Ex-(and Current-)$cientologist Should Know

  1. The “babalon working” was developed by Crowley based on ancient Babylonian goddess worship rites that involved sex magic. The actual Babylonian ritual is the basis for Wicca and is intended to empower women. It is clear that the Crowley version that Hubbard engaged in with his associate Parsons was not intended to empower women but rather to dominate, drain, and use – like the rest of Scientology.

    • phoenyxrose says:

      Thank you for the clarification! My own cult leader had also twisted the goddess empowerment into woman-debasement, so I’d forgotten this important detail. Thank you for reminding me! 🙂

      • G. B. Marian says:

        Yeah, it’s funny how these early-20th century occultniks all twisted pagan and gnostic ideas to fit their own imperialist and patriarchal perspectives. Crowley and Hubbard were both cut from the same cloth, methinks. Good post!

  2. Pingback: So what is my deal with Scientology? | Phoenyxrose's Blog

  3. weety says:

    Quite Good! A Non-Scn is giving new viewpoints on Satanism. In the last days in the cult , i could see that every good words from Hubbard were perverted in the doing. And now: the best proof for truth is: if hubbard said it, there must be some devlish intention under it! This works quite good.

    The first shock years ago was simple: i believed the story that he is the metreya. Once i looked in the Internet and could not find any evidence. Only that it was a complete lie. This poem is for the bin. “Am l the metreya?” I thought i was a bit educated in buddhism and started to read buddhas wisdoms from new. Hubbard turned almost everything there into a misconcept! This is really Crowley style.

    Anyway. You know it better. Now it is simple. But before?

    Now we learn everyday new and real things that work on mind. Not this daemonic Hubbard/Miscavige bullshit.

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